Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
