Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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