Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just found a bag of teeth...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
