i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
