he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
