She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
