No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
