Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
