i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
