I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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