I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it's like heaven, but drunker
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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