so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Tornado booty call.. dedication
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
