Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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