Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
mondays should just be called national damage control day
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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