The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
