But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
