Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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