definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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