She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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