Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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