okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
