He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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