you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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