Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
