i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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