His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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