Hey man sorry I got all grabby
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
