have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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