everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
