Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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