You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
