I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
