I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
