the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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