He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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