We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
why do cheetos always look like penises
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
