I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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