you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
