so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Vodka?
Forever.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
