yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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