Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
