You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
