i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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