Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
