This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
