my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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