I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
