he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I didn't notice because vodka
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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