You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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