I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
