He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
