dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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