im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
