just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
