yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
