i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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